Let’s talk about sex…

In this day and age many boundaries have been broken, taboos have become tadoos and yet there is one topic for discussion which is almost as infamous as Voldemort. Of course, I’m talking about sex.

Now I’m not talking about preferences and desires in the bedroom – that’s a private and intimate choice that the average person would not be comfortable conveying to the world. I’m talking about the general topic.

Individuals around the world feel embarrassed or even mortified at the very thought of discussion. Take for example a parent giving ‘the talk’ to their adolescent. I’m not faulting my mother and father because they are no different from anyone else but my ‘talk’ was essentially my mum throwing a book called ‘Let’s talk about sex’ at me involving cartoons of a bird and a bee chatting about body parts and how babies are made. I don’t even recall talking about it with my dad for that matter, or perhaps a vague memory of him telling me what masturbation is? My parents, like the majority did not and still to this day do not want to even bring the topic up. I even remember once watching Coronation Street with my mum as she frantically changed the channel when a couple kissed. Of course this was all irrelevant because I’d learnt enough about sex from my heavily educated 11 year old peers who were all massively knowledgeable on the matter. “The willy goes in the bellybutton right?” Throw that in with the poor and way too late sexual education available at my school which involved a teacher flustered and red trying to explain what a condom is and bringing in a dildo which was of course all that anyone that came in that day learnt – Miss such and such has a dildo.

The lack of talking about sex can and does lead to consequences quite drastic including seeking alternatives to ‘the talk’ like pornography. Many, like myself of a similar age will remember curiously googling ‘boobs’ and ‘naked ladies kissing’ and such innocent, uneducated terms. For many, this creates an unrealistic representation of sex as a whole and can even have effects on their personal lives whether it be through porn addiction or promiscuity. On a more serious note from a male’s perspective it creates insecurities regarding performance, size and worst of all how many wrongly view women. I remember begging my oblivious Nana to buy me ‘Zoo Magazine’ at the petrol station when I went to hers once and told her all the guys my age have it, I was hooked!

Having the topic of sex being such a taboo when it’s such a natural event, basically to the point that it’s one of the only reasons we exist can’t be good for us as a species. I’m not saying it’s time to start running around the streets wanting to know everyone’s opinions of sex I just find it really odd that it’s so frowned upon to speak your mind. Furthermore the way the media shies away from the topic at all costs too – we’re fine showing bloody beheadings and all the terrible shit we see on the news. Sprinkle that with a touch of profanities but I think we’re going to need to blur out those nipples Jerry, we don’t want to offend anyone! I’m just waiting for the day Gordon Ramsey goes ‘too far’ and gets his bollocks out in anger at some terrified chef poorly making an omelette.

This of course can vary from each person and as a stereotypical example of a group of friends we are known to talk about ‘how good such and such was in bed’ and ‘what was their you know what’s like?’ amongst other deeply personal questions that shouldn’t be answered.

Talking about sexual preferences is also a large taboo. A lot of the population both men and women will do the typical ‘nah, not a chance would I even consider doing that’ or if their insecurities get the best of them regarding attraction to the same sex you’ll often hear the modern term ‘I’d do that but no homo’.

Hey, it’s okay to explore every avenue if you want. Possibly a controversial opinion but I don’t believe that many heterosexuals are 100% straight, not meaning to say they could see themselves romantically or even physically with a member of the same sex but I think it’s very rare to say they’ve never been a little bit curious. (What straight male doesn’t fancy Ryan Gosling?) Sexuality isn’t so black and white these days and thankfully many people for the most part are free to explore their own sexual identities without fear of persecution or labels.  It’s 2016, who the hell cares? Gay, straight, bisexual, pansexual, asexual… The stigma regarding different sexualities has mostly disappeared in an educated person’s mind! If Mr Gosling happened to knock on my door then who knows? Until then I shall continue to fail pursuing women as I have since those days of googling silly search terms. Oh, here’s another search term I remember – ‘nakedness’.

So why can’t we talk about sex? Part of it boils down to a genuine feeling of being exposed. Guys and girls, let’s talk about sex and stop hiding behind embarrassment and fear of mockery. The majority of us do it or will at some point. This of course is not counting those with no interest, which is also completely normal as it all filters down to a personal level. Imagine not being able to discuss our satisfaction of pizza? Now that’s a world I don’t want to live in…